Back to work-ish

This is a three-day work week for me and things are slow. They always are. This slowness is always triggering for me.

I have a relatively unhealthy relationship with work. It either represents the whole of me or none of me. Through my work, and the early part of my career, I've been able to change my status in a way. I craved more security for my future and through work and a growing salary, I've been able to save and plan for the future.

Now that I'm clearly in the back-half of my career, salary growth is no longer the goal (or even possible it seems at the moment). With this plateau, I constantly doubt if I'm working hard enough or if I actually care too much for my work. Going with the flow hasn't traditionally been an option. When on this plateau I start looking for problems, reasons why I'm not being treated as well as I should, reasons why things are broken.

With every company, there are things that are broken. It's how these broken things affect you directly that ultimately matters. Here's where things go wrong. I find ways for the broken things to directly affect me. It's a cycle that I must break.

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